In Oct 2004, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. (How ironic this diagnosis came during National Breast Cancer Awareness Month) Her battle was shorter than most, as she was diagnosed fairly early. However, as with any war, the length of the war is not important, it’s the mere fact war had to occur.
Although she was attacked unexpectedly (no previous family history of cancer) she quickly draped herself in the armor of God and gracefully went to war. I do not recall a day in which complained but I do recall her cheering me on and encouraging me through my last year of undergraduate school. Remember, I was not the one going through chemotherapy treatments, she was… my body had not been attacked, hers had…my skin had not changed colors from the harsh treatments, hers had…my hair was not falling out leaving me bald, her was…my body was not tired and weak, hers was… Nevertheless, as she was in the midst of the fight of her life, she found it in her spirit, to keep me encouraged. How powerful!
I wanted to quit school to be with her during this time. I seriously considered withdrawing from classes and moving back home until she was better despite her saying, “No, you stay in school. I’m gonna be alright. I’ll be at your graduation.” I did not understand those statements. After all, school would forever be there but I only had one mother! I obeyed and stayed in school. I thought maybe she needed reason to fight and my college graduation was that reason. Had I not made myself think that, I would not have stayed in school. Thankfully I did.
I did not understand how this could happen to my mother. I was angry. I was sad. I was hurt. As I often do when I experience a conglomerate of emotions, I wrote. I wrote a poem from what I believed to be my mothers perspective about what breast cancer tried to accomplish by attacking her. With this being National Breast Cancer Month, I thought I would share this writing.
To the survivors of this vicious disease— I salute you for you strength and courage. Keep fighting!
You arrived in my life unexpected, unannounced and unwelcomed.
You came to steal my joy and you tried to rape my spirit,
But the God I serve didn’t agree with it.
You tried to execute me emotionally,
Stab me spiritually,
Poison me physically,
And murder me mentally.
Truth is— you put a hit out on my life,
Despite the fact I was a daughter, a sister, a mother and a wife.
You robbed me of my innocence and purity
Not to mention you invaded my privacy.
You floated in my life like a butterfly and planned to sting like a bee,
But Jehovah-Nissi said He’d fight for me and Jehovah-Rophe said He’d heal me.
You weren’t man enough to attack me face to face,
So you had to creep inside to find your resting place.
You tried to wound me, as would any good enemy
But strength and courage were planted deep within me.
Again I say you tried, you tried and you lied
When at first you tried, you whispered the lie
“You will die”
But look who ultimately survived.
This time it was me you tried to kill,
Little did you know it wasn’t written in my Father’s will.
It might seem like I’m angry but in reality I am thankful…
Thankful for the opportunity to live life more abundantly.
Because of you I now know how to live life
Hence, I am a better daughter, sister, mother and wife.
You kept hitting me with blunt force trauma
And now, in the name of Jesus I rebuke it all
Because I want no more of your drama!
I took beating after beating
But as of this day Cancer you are defeated!
Whisper © 2006
Copyright 2012 – Whisper. All rights Reserved. No part of this commentary may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the author.