Michael Jordan’s BIG ASS House up for Auction

Okay, I know, I shouldn’t be using the “a—” word on this website. But we all know what is meant when someone says something like “That’s a Big Ass Lie.” Actually these words came out of the mouth of Vanessa from The Bernie Mac Show when they drive pass Randy’s Donuts in Los Angeles and Bernie said that “sho is a “big ass donut.” Well, Vanessa then asked her Uncle Bernie if he was going to buy her a “big ass bicycle.” Of course Bernie told her to “watch your mouth.” Well, before I finish this column I’m sure a lot of folks will say that woman needs to “watch her mouth.” And in the famous words of Sheree Whitfield, my response is “Who’s Gon Check Me, Boo?”

Before I heard about M. Jordan selling his “big a…” house I had planned to write a column entitled, “The Republicans’ Real Mission: Castrate the President.” What I had planned to discuss was a statement by a famous politician that politics is about several kinds of power and politics in Washington has a sexual power component. What this famous politician said is that in Washington folks “get off” on political gamesship. What he meant is that Washington politicians get some sexual enjoyment and satisfaction out of playing political games. Rafael “Ted” Cruz must be “j—— off” every few hours with the crap he’s pulling to show his political gamesmanship. Oh, no she didn’t. Yes I did and “Who’s Gon Check Me Boo?” Let me say it plain and clear, Rafeal “Ted” Cruz and a bunch of extremist Republican politicians want to see President Obama balls in a jar out on the White House lawn. These people have a mission to totally emasculate this President for their own perverse sexual satisfaction. This is the new state of Washington politics—cuts his balls off. What else explains the viceral hatred being thrown toward the President? This is the stuff of former white slave owners—rehashed. Rape the women and castrate the men. This is old south “fear of blackness” warmed over. This is nuvo, post-slavery black male lynching, cuts his balls off and put them in a jar revisited. Ever wonder why the Affordable Care Act, aka, Obamacare is now being compared to slavery? Well now you have the connection. Have a Super “N” like Dr. Ben Carson stand before a bunch of white Republicans and compare healthcare to slavery and you’ve made your inroad into a way cut the President’s balls off and put then on display in the Capitol Rotunda. No, she didn’t. Oh, yes I did, and”Who Gon Check me Boo?”

But back to Jordan’s house. This “big a—“ house has 56,000 square feet and covers 7 acres. It has 19 bathrooms, a beauty shop (for a ball headed man), a mini-golf course, a kitchen the size of half a block, a media room that can seat 100, a basketball court, and a swimming pool that goes in a circle—and that’s just for starters. The house was on the market for $29 million last year. This is $1 million less than the proposed Amarillo Recreation Complex—the ARC. I called the ARC promotion folks and asked how many acres the new complex facilities will occupy—no one knew. Even though the new complex will be located on land already owned by the City of Amarillo, no one knows much else, except it will have 8 basketball courts that convert to 16 volleyball courts, four new baseball fields, and eight proposed softball fields, hike and bike trails, an acquatic center with swimming pools, a huge diving area and a lot of other “play in the water stuff.” These facilities will be built at the Rick Klein Sports Complex at 29th and Grand. Rick Klein was a former mayor of Amarillo who served two terms from 1981 to 1987. He died in 1997 at the age of 54. His daddy was also a former Amarillo mayor from 1949 to 1953.

M. Jordan’s “big a___” house didn’t sell. So on November 15th he will take bids on it in a public auction. You need to put up $250,000 cash just to bid. (I’m guessing a short man from China will pay cash for it.) Any connection between M. Jordan’s auction and the $6 million up front money needed to get Amarillo’s ARC project off the ground? Or will voters go to the polls on November 5th and buy this “pig in a poke?” There is support for the ARC—a bunch of people say that Amarillo does not have an “area sports hub” that can attract competitive games and more tourism dollars. I don’t know that anyone has ever put forth a convincing argument showing how many competitive events have by-passed Amarillo for say Lubbock because we did not have a “big a___” sports complex. Will there be admission to use this facility? If so how much per individual, per family? After all, Potter County already has a 26 percent—and counting poverty rate. Have you seen the price of chicken lately—Walmart—one uncooked chicken costs over $7. Then there are all the dead trees and overgrown, Tumbleweed filled vacant lots all over this blighted “po a___” town. Adding a recreational complex to Amarillo will not change the fact that the City of Amarillo is no better than its poorest neighborhoods.

I think the City of Amarillo would be wise to check with M. Jordan about why he is really selling his “big a___” house. What is the annual upkeep on a 56,000 square foot house sitting on 7 acrea near Chicago? And what will it cost to staff and maintain Amarillo’s new recreational complex? Didn’t the City of Amarillo just build a new “splash park” that will soon start to bleed red ink? One of the main selling points of the new recreational complex is this: “To give professional athletes and recreational players a place to play baseball, volleyball, basketball, and fastpitch softball.” My question is this: Give me a list of names of professional athletes who will ever come to Amarillo to play baseball, volleyball, basketball or fastpitch softball? Or, is this whole ARC thing a “Big Ass Lie? Who’s Gon Check Me Boo?

Copyright 2013 – L. Arthalia Cravin. All rights Reserved. No part of this commentary may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the author.

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